I am thankful.
I am thankful for how I have known home.
I am thankful for what I am learning about home.
Emily Freeman is doing a great series on her blog.
It’s about things that can be known for sure,
The Artists and Influencers in our lives.
Last week she talked about Home.
In it she quoted Tim Keller
“Home, then, is a powerful but elusive concept. The strong feelings that surround it reveal some deep longing within us for a place that absolutely fits and suits us, where we can be, or perhaps find, our true selves.”
~Tim Keller, The Prodigal God
This quote stuck such a chord with me that I’ve been able to think of little else since reading it.
I have known that longing within for a place that fits and suits me.
That place where my true self exists.
I have been fortunate enough to have found that feeling of home once or twice.
It’s amazing and powerful when it happens.
It’s the kind of thing that forever changes your perception of the world and your place in it.
One of the times that was most significant was the first time I held my husband’s hand.
That moment was truly like that corny line from Sleepless in Seattle:
“I don’t know. When I met my wife, it was so clear. I just knew. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home, only to no home I’d ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a cab. And it was like… magic.”
Despite being terribly corny and perhaps a little cliche,
I knew, that first moment I held hands with Nate
That his hands would forever be the home for my heart.
Almost 15 years after that moment and it’s still true.
The touch of his hand never fails to bring me back home.
It centers me.
It soothes and calms me.
It’s just like… Magic.
There is no other home for my heart.
Just that which is born from my husband’s hands.
In 15 years we’ve had our disagreements.
We’ve survived our share of storms.
But no matter how the world may be spinning around me,
His touch never fails to remind me that this is where I belong.
Can I make a confession?
For the last 5 years or so there have been some ups and downs in my life,
But I’ve not struggled with this feeling of home.
I have been consistently sure of who I am and what my place is in this world.
And then there was August 2012.
And everything changed.
And God has determined himself to redefine my home,
Who I am and what my place is.
Friends, I have been terribly defiant.
I have been scared.
I have tried, desperately tried, to hold on to what has been.
To cling to that “home” that I have known.
Longing to stay hidden in the bathroom,
Despite the fact that the rest of that house has been demolished.
That home simply doesn’t exist any more.
I can’t get it back.
I must move into a new home.
And so this year I am committed to surrender to all that God has planned for me.
To put my hand firmly in His and let Him lead me to that new home He is taking me too.
But my trust is stronger than my fear.
And I fully believe that He is leading me where I belong.
I am thankful.
I am thankful that God is leading me toward Home.