Making My Marriage Matter in 2012
I have mentioned several times that I have an incredible husband. His constant kindness to me truly makes me want to do all I can to show him how much I appreciate him. Back in October I wrote a guest post for the Time-Warp Wife and in it I detailed 5 of the things I do to keep my marriage strong. By all means click over and read it if you have a second. In case you don’t, here’s the short version of the list:
- I take an extra minute in the morning to really notice my husband.
- I make my husband coffee in the morning.
- When he calls to check in I stop what I’m doing so that I can have a real conversation with him- even if it’s short.
- I spend time looking into my own interests so that when we talk I have something interesting to say.
- I go to bed at the same time as my husband whenever possible.
These things are working and my husband and I are enjoying a marriage that keeps getting better. Over the last year I’ve learned a few more things that I can do. Here are 3 things I’m planning to add in 2012:
- Really commit to growing my hair out. Because my husband is one of those men who really digs long hair. And yes, it drives me crazy when it gets pulled by… Well, pretty much by everything. But he makes up for it by playing with it. A lot. And I like to have my hair played with. And besides, I can always pull it back when it gets really annoying.
- Listen to the same audio books he’s listening to. My husband and I have a tradition of watching TV together in the hour or so between when the kids go to bed and we go to bed. Recently I discovered that one of his goals for 2012 is to read (and by that I mean listen to) at least 1 book a month. Like a lot of men, my husband doesn’t have a lot of extra time at his disposal. When he confided in me that he was concerned he wouldn’t have the time to reach his goal I suggested that we skip TV and use that time to listen to his books together. I wish there was a way to show you how excited he got, because he got really excited. Just before the 1st we purchased a subscription to Audible and we’ve been listening to The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. Not only do I feel great about helping my husband reach one of his goals, but I’ve also discovered that this activity gives us a lot to talk about too. Our relationship is deepening from the experience.
- Wear pretty pajamas or nightgowns to bed. In reading my mom’s journals over the last several days I discovered this was one of the things she wishes she had done more often. Because they made my step-dad happy and reminded her that she was a beautiful woman, not just a caretaker and a mom. I know I need that reminder too, because it’s too easy to forget sometimes. And when I feel pretty I act differently. I smile more. I flirt with him a little. I laugh more easily.
I love this! What neat goals to enhance your marriage this year 🙂 My husband has actually requested that I find things to talk about other than mom stuff but I didn’t know exactly how to go about it since that’s what I do all day. Looking into my own interests outside of mom-hood would be a major help, thank you for the idea!
Does he consider the food allergy stuff to be mom stuff? It’s not really, but I could see how he might think it is. Un-mom related stuff that I share with Nate is usually related to what I’m learning from my women’s group or something the pastor said on Sunday that really struck a chord. Last year God taught me a lot about grace, so we talked a lot about grace last year. And we talked about how God was teaching him about obedience and how weird it was that He was teaching us the exact opposite things. Also, I read the Bible in 90 Days last year and I shared that experience with him. The year before we did a yearly Bible reading plan together, which provided lots of discussion material. Certainly everything doesn’t work, he’s never been real interested in my enthusiasm over digital scrapbooking- Ha!
Love this blog post! Simple yet great ideas that sometime we take for granted! I will think of my own 3 things for my own marriage! 🙂
Thanks Cheryl. I would sure love to hear what you come up with. I’m always looking for new ideas too. 🙂
Love this post Jennifer!
A while ago Amazon had The One Year Love Language Devotional eBook for $0.00. Even though I didn’t have a Kindle at the time I got it and put it on my computer. My husband bought me a Kindle for Christmas. I asked him if he’d be willing to do this with me. My typical approach of whine whine nag nag doesn’t work near as well as asking him!
Here’s the link if anyone is interested {maybe the price will go down again!}: http://www.amazon.com/Language-Minute-Devotional-Signature-ebook/dp/B002JCSEV4/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1325690693&sr=1-1
I’ll have to think of a few more. That guest post is still in my head that Sandra wrote.
Thanks Johnlyn. Actually, Sandra’s post inspired this one (if you haven’t read it it’s linked below this comment). I definitely want to keep putting in the effort toward a good marriage! Thanks for sharing the link. Devotional books are great conversation starters!
I love your suggestion to wear pretty nightgown. I remember an older women once told me “A long fannel nightgown is what you put over the pretty nightgown that only your husband gets to see.” LOL!
That’s so cute!
I just subscribed to your blog 🙂 and now you have me thinking about improving my marriage which is great! Thanks for the ideas.
Thanks Kristina. I’d love to know what changes you make, I’m always looking for ways to be a better wife. 😉
I hope it’s not yet too late for me to subscribe on your newsletter.
It’s never too late Hanna! Just click on the envelope below to have future post sent directly to your email box. And thanks so much for the interest.
I love the five tips that you share at the beginning of this article. I don’t know if there is some weird universal coincidence taking place, or what, but I started doing a lot of the same kinds of things. I make sure to take a look at him before he leaves for work and tell him how great he looks, and that I know he’ll do a great job providing for his family. I also make my husband’s coffee, in the morning, and I put it in his favorite thermos before he leaves. The best part of all of those little things, though, is that it keeps the love and romance alive, and that is what seems to go wrong in most marriages. If your partner doesn’t really know why he is so important to you, how can you expect him to be happy? And if he’s not happy, how can you? Great post, keep up the great work, I’m subscribing!
Thanks so much for subscribing Dr. Ellen. I appreciate your words of encouragement. I’m hoping I can find some great ideas for 2013 from your site- which is chalk full of great marital wisdom!