“Life makes it so hard sometimes,
to know what’s real.”
~David Crowder Band, Can You Feel It?
Oh how I sometimes forget what’s real in this life between.
This stuff that happens between my once upon a time
and the happily ever after I’m so certain of.
I get so bogged down with questions of real…
Depression is real.
These are real.
I know because I feel them.
I feel their emotional weight.
I feel the stress induced ichiness of the hives on my skin.
But laughter is real too.
Joy. Peace. Hope.
These are real.
I can make these my reality.
I can choose which I want.
I choose by where I place my focus.
Do I focus on the fact that my son, the son in my heart, won’t be with us this weekend?
Or do I choose to focus on the time we’ve enjoyed with him this far and look forward to next weekend?
Do I choose to focus on the One who knows my tomorrow?
Or do I choose to focus on all the questions about tomorrow?
It’s not easy to choose one over the other.
Most of the time I end up choosing some combination of the dueling realities.
Dueling realities cannot fill the same space.
So it’s a moment by moment choice.
Perception can’t determine my real
Because my perception keeps changing.
His never changes.
In this world the what is and isn’t real is hard to define.
But I know where too look.
I know it can’t be found in my reality…
It must be found in His.
Father in Heaven, thank you for showing me what’s real. Thank you that I can really trust you and rely on your truth. Thank you that I can feel your presence. Thank you for being in every part of my reality. Be my hope, Lord. Be my strength, my peace. Help me still my thoughts, Lord. Let me rest in you. Hold me safely in your reality. In Jesus name, amen.