True Rest
I am thankful. I am thankful for true rest.
I loved reading Hannah’s post To Do: Nothing this week at Sometimes A Light. In it she says:
While Sabbath is about physical recuperation, it’s more than that. Sabbath is a lifestyle. Sabbath is Gospel. It’s a view of the world that says I don’t have to work because Christ already did.
I am so thankful for Hannah’s words of strong faith and deep conviction. We all need physical rest and I love that our God, knowing what we need, asks us to take it.
But today I want to talk about emotional rest. Emotional rest is often harder to find and today it’s what I’m most thankful for. Emotional rest is something that can only come from walking closely with Him. True emotional rest radiates from Him.
Lately there have been too many questions. Too many unknowns. Too many decisions that need to be made. There has been this weight of emotion- of so many fears- as our family tries to process it all. As my husband and I fight hard to find answers so that we can make the right choices. The effects of the stress of trying to do what’s right have left their mark on my body physically as well as on my mental state. Hives break out red and itchy on my arms and legs and my mind flits back and forth between fits of racing anxiety and complete exhaustion. And I know I’m in a state of emotional turmoil instead of the rest He intends for me.
And then, finally, as the dawn starts to rise bright over the hills, I hear the voice telling me to let my mind be still. To just release all those concerns and questions my mind is holding too tightly.
I feel myself fight against the idea. How can I still my thoughts? These decisions need to be made and I won’t be comfortable with anything until I’ve held each option in my mind, like a stone in my hand, rolling it over and over and over again until I’ve got the feel of it memorized. The smooth spot there, the little ridge here. Deciphering all the options.
“Stop,” the voice inside insists again.
And I feel the reassuring presence of the One who already knows. I remember that from where He sits all these decisions have already been made. By His Word I know that He works it out for my good, because He loves me. And by trusting Him, by believing His promises, real emotional rest comes.
And so I squeeze the decision-stones as tightly as I can until they’re turned to powder and with a determined exhale I blow them out of my thoughts because I know they are already safely in His, where they belong. I surrender it all into His care and I believe strongly in Him. And then I can stand a little taller and breathe a little deeper because the weight of it all has finally lifted. I relish in the peace and the joy that comes from the emotional rest that I receive from Him.
He is the one who knows all.
He is the one who sees all.
He is the one who loves.
And so I know I’m safest when I stop depending on myself
and instead enter fully into trusting Him.
It’s hard to quiet the mind and give myself the emotional rest that I need. Currently, I have been carrying the weight of lack of finances, for a daughter who is getting married in just 8 weeks. I know that God will provide. He always comes through. So why do I continue to worry? I need to quiet my mind, give it over to Him, and allow myself this much needed rest.
Yes, it is so hard to surrender those things that we really want to fix! Praying for you friend, that you find that emotional release that you need. Hopefully you can find 20 minutes to yourself; to sit in a warm bath, go for a long drive by yourself, or sit on the front porch in the stillness of the day. And when you go back to real life maybe you’ll discover that you can leave those stresses behind. That is my wish for you.
Thank you Jennifer…I *really* needed to see this post AND Hannah’s post this morning! I linked this post to my weekly roundup.
*Sigh* once again…love your visual image of squeezing the decisions stones so tightly they turn to powder.
Thank you Johnlyn, you are such a wonderful encouragement. I just recently discovered Hannah and I’m always inspired by her thoughts. You may be interested in reading her post on why she stayed in the church, it’s pretty thought provoking. I was thinking about you as I wrote part of this post, imagining you on one of your walks. 😉
How beautiful. I struggle so very much with emotional turmoil and desire very much the rest of which you speak. I just have a tendency to hang on way too tightly, time to let go 🙂
I can imagine Lindsey, you must feel responsible for so much. Yet I imagine you have to release things to Him all the time, so in one sense you’ve gotta be kind of a pro at this. It must be a fine line to walk, trying to be responsible where you need to be and at the same time trying to let go of the things you have no control over. Whew! Makes me tired just thinking about it. 😉 You are such a dear friend and strong woman of God. All that exercise and getting healthy you’re doing will help with emotional rest too. I was actually on the elliptical when God breathed these truths to me, lol. I LOVE my workouts lately!!!